75 Year Old Harvard Research Study on Happiness

Found this ted talk, by Dr. Robert Waldinger which reaffirms that having a secure relationship can increase levels of relationship satisfaction, commitment, and trust.

Dr. Robert Waldinger received his A.B. from Harvard College and his M.D. from Harvard Medical School. Dr. Waldinger is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, Director of the Center for Psychodynamic Therapy and Research at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Dr. Waldinger has tracked the lives of two groups of men for over 75 years, a study on adult development as it relates to true happiness and satisfaction.

Findings of this study:

1. Satisfaction and true happiness doesn't come from wealth or fame or working harder. Rather it's related to good relationships which keep people happier and healthier.

Dr. Waldinger's 75 year old study found that social connections are vital for people, "and that loneliness kills. People who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected."

2. It further explained that "it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective."

3. Finally, the study found that "relationships and our health is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies, they protect our brains. It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective, that the people who are in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need, those people's memories stay sharper longer. And the people in relationships where they feel they really can't count on the other one, those are the people who experience earlier memory decline. And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time. Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each otherday in and day out, but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other when the going got tough, those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories."

Conclusion: secure relationships are essential for a happier and healthier life! If you are worried that you are insecure, keep this in mind: most people are secure. If you feel you have difficulties in relationships, change is certainly possible, and often happens when individuals with some insecurity experience warm and supportive relationships with secure people, who can show them the proper trust and support that they never received before.

Practice some of the skills discussed and watch more below.