How can using attachment theory in dating help me in recognizing an emotionally healthy partner?

The first step is to get to know yourself and those around you from an attachment perspective.

Understanding attachment will change the way you perceive new people you meet; giving you insight into your date. Your thinking will change from “am I liked?” to “Is this someone emotionally healthy? Are they capable of giving me what I need?” Asking questions like: “How much is this person capable of intimacy? Are they sending mixed messages or are they genuinely interested in being close?”

How to tell if you're in a relationship with an Avoidant partner?

Pay attention to your feelings, your experience of the relationship with your partner. Life with an Avoidant will be emotionally difficult if you're Anxious Preoccupied or Avoidant yourself. Being the closest person to an Avoidant, doesn't mean you will be treated with love and respect, in fact, you'll be treated like the enemy.

The J is a male in his early 40s, divorced, successful, takes good care of himself physically and can be very charming. J, however, has a history of relationships with "crazy"/ needy woman.

Mother is very "cold" and judgmental; father is "supportive".

J expressed frustration in finding the "right" mate, and fears being in a relationship with the "wrong" partner.

Have you ever experienced a difficult break-up even though your partner was not the right person? You rationally knew they weren't for you, but emotionally you're attached to them. You obsessively think about your previous partner? Missing them? Wondering what they are doing? Are they missing you? Recalling pleasant memories over the course of your relationship? This blog will help you understand the strong attachment through a neurological perspective.